The pleasure of sex is subtle and very easy to spoil. And a regular lack of pleasure in bed is a path to a bad mood, low self-esteem, and discord in relationships. Let’s talk about those things that you definitely shouldn’t do during sex.
Complexes about appearance
“In this position, my stomach is bulging terribly”, “Wow, how much cellulite he will see and be horrified now”, “I probably look stupid now” – this is an approximate picture of what is happening in our head if, during sex. We think not about pleasure. But about our shortcomings. It seems like these thoughts are the result of our desire to please the partner. Concern about our own attractiveness. But here’s the paradox – the more we worry about this topic. The less interesting a man is. Why? Yes, because these thoughts make you squeezed. Prevent you from relaxing and surrendering to pleasure. And the partner, of course, will notice it. But initially, in bed, he does not at all think about our “orange peel”, the absence of hair removal, or “flat chest”. Most likely, if he decided to have sex with you. He already liked you – with all its peculiarities
Complaints about life
This is where you should not indulge in frank stories about past partners, discuss health problems, repairs, or lack of money, is in the bedroom. Therefore, one should not consider intimacy as an excuse to confide in a loved one – nothing reduces the degree of sexual arousal as much as these topics. If you want to talk about your problems. Pick a better moment – at least when both of you are dressed.
Resentment towards a partner
Often, a couple avoids discussing conflict topics directly with each other and uses the bedroom in order to smooth out existing contradictions by default. But this is a bad strategy. If you are still resenting your partner. The tension will spread to your sexual contact. This can result, for example, in irritability about his “clumsy hands”, “boring” posture, etc. Or, hushing up the insult, you will feel used, humiliated in bed.
Little girl games
Another way to reduce the degree of passion in bed is to start “lisping” like a child, calling your partner’s penis something like “pod”, or showing inappropriate shyness. Infantile behavior can work if you ask a man for a new dress. But in the sexual field. It is still better to play the role of a sexually mature individual who knows how to discuss everything that happens in normal, “adult” words. Otherwise, the partner’s psyche will simply get entangled in the signals being given.
You can endure a lot of things in life – the disgusting character of the boss, bad weather, or manipulation in the dentist’s chair. But the bed is clearly not the place where this verb is appropriate. However, many of us during sex endure what is actually unpleasant – pain, uncomfortable posture, coercion, rudeness, etc. Why? From the desire to please the partner, to be “liberated”, “sexy”, etc. Why would you make such sacrifices? For what? On the contrary, try to refuse to do what you don’t like and declare your desires. You will see – the pleasure from the intimate process will become much brighter.
Lack of foreplay
Read Also: Best Top Ten Pleasant Ways to Live Longest
Sometimes we want quick sex, and that’s okay. But most often it takes a woman much longer to get started. If you ignore this natural, physiological moment, and skip foreplay, sex risks turning into dry physical activity. So if your partner is a “rush” who wants to skip foreplay or keeps it too short. It makes sense to talk to him about this moment. However, prolonged foreplay can also spoil sex. As a rule, in this case, either the partner cannot get aroused in any way, or his caresses do not turn you on enough. And in this case, it would be nice to discuss together what will speed up the process of arousal for both of you.
The pungent smell of alcohol or sweat can instantly destroy even a very strong sexual desire. So, if you feel that your partner smells bad, it makes sense in a playful way to invite him. For example, to take a shower together. Well, or, in some cases, it makes sense to completely abandon intimacy – for example, if a loved one is very drunk and will exude an unpleasant amber for a very long time.
Anxious thoughts about whether or not it will be possible to experience peak pleasure can also spoil intimacy. In this case, we turn into anxious schoolchildren who are so worried about passing the exam that they do not pay attention to the process itself and only wait for it to end as soon as possible. For many women, the topic of orgasm really means a kind of “sexual aptitude test.” However, here the mechanism works the other way around – the more you worry about orgasm. The further it is from you. You can get pleasure from intimacy only in the most relaxed state. This means that it is important to turn off your head and just focus on the process.
YOU’LL ALSO LIKE: